 |
"(Porn Valley Observed is) the smartest and funniest coverage of the adult industry you will read." - About.com |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
Friday, March 21, 2008
Young Hollywood and the birth of the United States
 HBO's "John Adams" miniseries is pretty compelling, though it inaccurately places the man who would become our second President at the scene of the Boston Massacre. Tom Wilkinson is brilliant as Ben Franklin, David Morse engaging as George Washington, the guy from "Oz" excellent as the guy from Pennsylvania, Laura Linney wonderful as Abigail Adams, and Paul Giamatti way better than he was in that god-awful pool movie with Opie's daughter.As I sat at home considering these things a thought came to me: "I have to go take another picture of Adrianna Nicole in a parking lot." My collection of pictures of Adrianna Nicole in parking lots is among the major achievements of my career as America's Beloved Porn Journalist. Tonight, while I watched John Adams wrestle with Philadelphia's horrible plague of dysentery in the summer of 1776, I knew that one of the freedoms guaranteed by Adams and the founders was manifested in Carlos Batts' Young Hollywood, in which Nicole has sex by venetian blinds. "Yeah, man," Batts said. "Adrianna's a trip."  The party was at Safari Sam's on Sunset Blvd. Guests listened to live music from bands featured in Young Hollywood and Batts' next movie, Kiss Attack, including a set from Batts' friends from Baltimore, Dirt & Bank."Yeah, man, "Batts said. "Dirt & Bank are a trip." Mandy Morbid proved that her default setting is winsome as she posed with Pride of Oregon Kimberly Kane. Kane, who is Young Hollywood's boxcover model, has yet to see the movie.  "You should," I said. "You're really naked in it.""I see all my movies," Morbid said. "I've only been in one." Because of "John Adams", I'd missed the bands. Apparently Glenn Danzig was there, as his yard had been used for Mandy Morbid's car-top tryst with Lystra, or trystra. But I didn't see him. "He was standing about one millimeter away from you," Batts told me. (Danzig is kind of short; Mika Tan told me this.)  A drunk and vaguely surly Benny Profane was on stage. He played Martin van Buren in the Adams movie. I saw Clown Porn's Dick Chibbles and Daisy Layne."Why clowns?" I probed. "People having sex is funny," Chibbles said (he lives in San Diego). "Clowns having sex is funnier." Actually, clowns having sex is horrifying. But not more than the atrocities committed by the British in its colonies, or what the Sons of Liberty regularly did to the Crown's tax collectors.  Also on hand were performer Van Damage and his wife, let's call her Cynthia Damage. I approve of this marriage."My girlfriend brought me to a swinger's party and I just found myself blowing him," she said, echoing Martha Washington.  Off in a corner representing Los Angeles were April Flores and her friend, La Cholita. Flores did much of the behind the scenes work in Young Hollywood and stars in Kiss Attack, where she leads a fleshy vampire army. How La Cholita figures into this I'm still unsure, but I'm glad she does."Looking good is being deadly," La Cholita said.  As I was about to leave, a parking lot materialized around Adrianna Nicole for her photo opportunity. It made me think of the tax collector in "John Adams"; she looked like she should be tarred and feathered, except not with tar and feathers, if you know what I mean.Read the Young Hollywood review here. Previously: Kiss Attack (but not the Kiss Army) See also: Carlos Batts, Adam & Eve, HBO's "John Adams" Labels: "kimberly kane", adrianna nicole, april flores, carlos batts, daisy layne, dick chibbles, events, la cholita, latin, mandy morbid, pinups, van damage, WGL ¶ Friday, March 21, 2008 
Comments
:
I've got an idea for a new feature on Porn Valley Observed, The Adrianna Nicole daily picture post. Or even better you could just rename the site Adrianna Observed and bring the full coverage we need.
I think this is an excellent idea, Michael. Ms. Nicole's birthday is this Tuesday, so hat might be as good a time as any to begin a 50-year project.
Post a Comment
#
posted by
 Gram the Man
:
Saturday, March 22, 2008
Links to this post : << Home |
July 2002 December 2002 January 2003 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement This Website fully complies with 18 U.S.C. 2256 and 2257 and the regulations promulgated thereunder. The owners and operators of this Website are secondary producers and are not the primary producer (as defined in 18 U.S.C. 2257) of any of the visual content contained in this Website. All models, actors, actresses and other persons that appear in any visual depiction of actual or simulated sexually explicit conduct appearing or otherwise contained in this Website were over the age of eighteen years at the time of the creation of such depictions. All other pictures, graphics, videos or other visual media displayed on this Website are exempt from the provision of 18 U.S.C. 2257 (a) through (c) and 28 C.F.R. 75 because the pictures, graphics, videos or other visual media: (1) do not consist of depictions of sexually explicit conduct, but are merely depictions of non-sexually explicit nudity, (2) contains only visual depictions of actual sexually explicit conduct made before July 3, 1995, or is produced, manufactured, published, duplicated, reproduced, or reissued before July 3, 1995; (3) contains only visual depictions of simulated sexually explicit conduct; (4) contains some combination of visual depictions described in (2) and (3) above; (5) have been certified by its primary producer to the operators of this Website (as secondary producers) to satisfy the standards under (2) through (4) above. |
