![]() |
"(Porn Valley Observed is) the smartest and funniest coverage of the adult industry you will read." - About.com |
|
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
AVN: The only numbers you can trust
![]() Number of subscriptions to BurningAngel.com Joanna Angel gave to a fan who brought her some cold medicine: 1 Number of times Eon McKai was overheard saying "I'm sorry my work confuses you": 3 Number of times Performer of the Year Sasha Grey said "fucking" to CBS' Bill Geiss: 2 Number of seconds it took: 2 Estimated airings this 20-second interview will receive on CBS: 0 Number of terrible, wonderful things I want to do to Unsung Starlet Gianna: 35Suite number of the party at which Satine Phoenix was naked: 211 Temperature of that room, in fahrenheit degrees: 102 Number of fans in wheelchairs spotted at the AVN Expo: 46 Number of dwarves, midgets, and assorted little people: 23 Number of morbidly obese: 8 Number of these who were also in wheelchairs: 2 Percentage of AVN Awards I agreed with: 21 Face value of AVN Awards tickets being scalped in Mandalay Bay Events Center: $212 Scalped value: $150 Number of sales of scalped tickets I witnessed: 4 Times Ann Marie flashed me: 3 Number of pictures I was able to get of this: 0 Pieces of tape on Stoya's nipples: 4Jagermeisters consumed by me between Wednesday and Sunday morning: 36 Things I did over the week that I now consider "inappropriate": 4 Percentage of these that occured on Sunday morning: 100 Number of times I met Abby Winters: 0 Number of times I met Mr. Skin: 1 Number of people who walked the red carpet: 203 Number of times Eva Angelina walked the red carpet: 2 Price, in dollars, to amply feed four grown men at the Ellis Island Casino: 42 Price for same group at the Grand Lux Cafe: 213 Price of one dinner at Morton's Steak House: 183 Height, in feet, of Aiden Starr: 5 Feet from the ground at which a certain part of me tops off: 5 Number of "circle bar"s in Las Vegas that are actually circles: 0 Number of interview requests turned down by Robin Leach at the red carpet: 3 Number of times Leach's photographer asked Jenna Jameson what her name was: 2 Bodyguards from Detroit hired by Digital Playground: 3 Number of AVN awards won this year by people with whom I've had feuds: 0 Rank of seashell as shape of pasties on display: 1 Number of times I was refused a posed photograph: 1 Number of times it was Matt Zane who refused it: 1 Age, in months, of Jean Laconia, performing her first scene (for Gazzman and Dave West) on camera: 220Amount of years I assumed she'd been doing porn, what with her filthy mouth: 5-10 Increase of awards, in percentage, since last year: 0 Increase of awards, in percentage, since 1984: 700 More years required until the actual 25th anniversary of the AVN Awards, as opposed to the 25th anniversary of AVN: 1 Order, in Google entries, of Britney Spears, Jenna Jameson, Tera Patrick, Jesse Jane, Jamie Lynn Spears, and Stormy Daniels: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 Amount of hours I slept during the week of CES and AVN: 14 Amount of hours I slept the night I returned home: 14 See also: Gram's Gallery Labels: avn08, satine phoenix ¶ Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Comments
:
Several things:
1. Kudos on the supposed "inappropriate" things which commenced (possibly involving Jean Laconia invokes double kudos). 2. As far as the gallery goes my porn recognition has been slipping so I need names attached to those faces, Ponante. NAMES. 2a: I was going to compliment you on you on the lack of Dana Dearmond photos but after some eyestraining and a few repressed memory sessions with my therapist I found out you do indeed have some so... boo. 2b: However the lovely Ms. Lakehurst more than makes up for that. 2c: Did Tommy Pistol impregnate Gia Paloma with his alt-spunk? 3. I hope you had a good time.
Thankyou, Professor. I knew that I was taking a picture of Dana DeArmond, and did so with the hope that someday everything will again be All Right.
I will label those photos when I am fully returned and my website is updating correctly. You see, I got hacked in the past week and some things are still awry (that is why your comments did not immediately show up).
Hey Gram, great pictures, I was there as a fan and wish I got what you got. The pictures of the beautiful Alix Lakehurst make me even more envious. Thanks for your work, always a joy to read.
Post a Comment
Links to this post : << Home |
July 2002 December 2002 January 2003 January 2005 February 2005 March 2005 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 July 2005 August 2005 September 2005 October 2005 November 2005 December 2005 January 2006 February 2006 March 2006 April 2006 May 2006 June 2006 July 2006 August 2006 September 2006 October 2006 November 2006 December 2006 January 2007 February 2007 March 2007 April 2007 May 2007 June 2007 July 2007 August 2007 September 2007 October 2007 November 2007 December 2007 January 2008 February 2008 March 2008 April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 18 U.S.C. 2257 Record-Keeping Requirements Compliance Statement This Website fully complies with 18 U.S.C. 2256 and 2257 and the regulations promulgated thereunder. The owners and operators of this Website are secondary producers and are not the primary producer (as defined in 18 U.S.C. 2257) of any of the visual content contained in this Website. All models, actors, actresses and other persons that appear in any visual depiction of actual or simulated sexually explicit conduct appearing or otherwise contained in this Website were over the age of eighteen years at the time of the creation of such depictions. All other pictures, graphics, videos or other visual media displayed on this Website are exempt from the provision of 18 U.S.C. 2257 (a) through (c) and 28 C.F.R. 75 because the pictures, graphics, videos or other visual media: (1) do not consist of depictions of sexually explicit conduct, but are merely depictions of non-sexually explicit nudity, (2) contains only visual depictions of actual sexually explicit conduct made before July 3, 1995, or is produced, manufactured, published, duplicated, reproduced, or reissued before July 3, 1995; (3) contains only visual depictions of simulated sexually explicit conduct; (4) contains some combination of visual depictions described in (2) and (3) above; (5) have been certified by its primary producer to the operators of this Website (as secondary producers) to satisfy the standards under (2) through (4) above. |