At first glance, Platinum X's Ten Little Piggies, what with the asstastic Maya Hills on the cover and all, seems like an ass-centered movie. In fact, I brought some surveyors over from the Institute on the mainland and they confirmed that Hills' ass was indeed the center of the boxcover.Then I noticed the title and was confused. Was director Iron saying that Ms. Hills was fat? If so, I need to leave porn and return to my first love: filing nuisance lawsuits.
Then I realized it was a foot fetish movie. Oh well. But still.
Brandon Iron is, probably by virtue of his being a perfomer, the only person whose press releases seem to strike the perfect balance between the hyperbole required to sell yet another porn movie (this release of Ten Little Piggies is the eighth, which means that, unless something went wrong, there have been 80 toes dealt with so far in the series) and the facts. Maybe it is because he has actually sampled the talent rather than wished secretly (or bragged) that he had.
(Not that I don't love all porn publicists.)
Anyway, Iron has this to say about the cast:
- Judy Star (fine French-Canadian babe)You or someone you love can view a trailer here.
- Cassandra (Montreal cutie with tender toots)
- Kimmie Kream (born in Calgary, lives in Montreal)
- Malezia (ex-Vivid contract girl with golden peds)
- Samantha (first day in porn....welcome!)
- Shanice (feet with GI Joe grips)
- Maya Hills (Russian/Eskimo mix with baby-bottom-soft
feet
- Sharka Blue (Czech chick with vice-like monkey grip)
- Rebeca Linares (Spanish girl Toni Ribas and I met at
the Erotic Convention in Barcelona a few months ago)
- Sandra Kelermen (Prague's streets should be lined
with rose petals everywhere this woman walks)
- Suzie Diamond (model face with model feet = great
time and worth flying 12 hours to get to her)
Previously: Baker's Dozen 7; #5 and #6; Arch Enemies
See also: Platinum X
posted by Gram the Man
at
Tuesday, April 11, 2006 
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