I haven't been to Porn Star Karaoke in over a month, as I needed to physically and spiritually train for last month's Vegas convention and get my body into top physical condition. Sardo's was jumping as I strode in after such a long absence."Leopold," they said.
It was Bad Ass Models night, and I knew beforehand that if I wanted to snap photos of "Bad Ass" Frank's talent pool it would require motivation I'd otherwise need to use to get drinks.
"I will snap photos if they come over here," I said to myself. And guess what? They didn't. I watched as one of his girls whipped out a laptop with Movie Magic Scheduler on it to coordinate upcoming synthetic feuds.
Oddly enough, there was a faux Bad Ass Frank walking around who was a little taller than the real one. I saw two people say Frank-like things to him before I figured out it wasn't Bethesda's Own Frank. When the actual Frank arrived with his retinue, he needed to pay for some extra guys to get in. Sucker.
Over the course of the evening, I met several of my writerly comrades in this dangerous game of porn media. A full 42 percent of them have bad breath. How do I tell them? ("Posting it works," writes Tod-Hunter.)
Flower Tucci grabbed my right nut. That girl has a reach. I am hoping to ask her to Thanksgiving dinner this year. She was sitting at a table with Sunny Lane and (I hope this is correct) Olivia O'Lovely as well as Mofo of MofoWear. I am jealous of Mofo despite my blond hair and tailored black jeans. Flower showed me her Mofowear underpants but my camera was not fast enough, plus you can't expect me to live my life that way, looking through a lens rather than experiencing underwear firsthand. I'm not some kind of machine. Still, that goddamn Mofo had his name on Flower's underwear. Fuck! Note to self: design a line of clothing.
In another booth sat Psychocandy auteur Benny Profane. He is making a movie called Barbed Wire Kiss for VCA with Carolyn Pierce and Jade Hsu.
"It's going to have fifty scenes in it, like a death metal album," he said to someone, then admitted he was kidding when the other erson didn't get it. I imagine that sort of thing happens to him all the time. Profane told an anecdote about his father entertaining the mother of a woman Benny was "auditioning" in another room. Mom was giving her daughter a ride to the audition (the daughter was of legal age, of course).
"My father is a charmer," he said. "Then the lady drove her daughter home without knowing what had just happened."
Like real Australians, Wankus has gone on walkabout from PSK, or perhaps a vision quest. I think it's because Tyler is dating. Anyway, the atmosphere was different with delightful Kristen running the show. No surreal things happened but also no one lived in fear that Wankus would sign about him or her. It was a tradeoff that meant I paid less attention to the stage and more to people's underwear.
I met some people I know from another life.
"Leopold - " they began.
"It's Gram, fellas," I said.
Tara of Freepornstarpix mispronounced my name yet again. When she makes out with men she knows are married, she becomes indignant when informed their wives are upstairs.
"That's low class," I said.
A pig-tailed women from North Carolina named Leola was being squired around by whomever could catch her attention. Here she is with Hall-of-Famer Roy Karch.
"I only do girl/girl and solo," she said. "I did a boy/girl scene once but I will never do it again," she said. She's 19. I felt very old. I took solace that I was not nearly as old as anyone in my immediate vicinity.
"Do you have a website?" I asked.
"No," she said. "But I/you do have a MySpace profile," we said together.
Karch took me aside.
"I asked her if she was a bad girl," he said. "She said, 'No, but I'm learning.'"
We let the comment rest in the air.
"She said she was a virgin three months ago," he continued.
I felt we were both in danger of walking out into the street and being hit by cars.
Holly Randall showed up. I refrained from pursuing personal questions. She has seen my blood.
The smallest outfit award went to a woman named Lori Lust. She and her partner, Craig, moved here from a small town in Michigan two weeks ago and she has already appeared on LA XPress: the hooker publication the clerk at 7-11 reads. She has been working constantly since she got here.
I asked Craig, who is also talent and who saved Lori from a bad marriage through the liberating practice of swinging, if he felt that his own career had taken a back seat.
"It's all about her," he said, handing me their business cards.
Previously: Porn Star Karaoke hitlist
See also: Sardo's Bar
posted by Gram the Man
at
Wednesday, February 08, 2006 
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PornGod said...
- I've seen this Porn Star and she is a total babe !
- Saturday, March 04, 2006
Post a Comment Links to this post:Shwe drove me nuts all night just looking at her.
She is so hot!
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