As a service to everyone who might find their booth furniture ($2100) not delivered, their high-speed Internet service ($1895) not hooked up, or their contract stars overdosed (priceless), I have taken the liberty of pre-writing AVN's show opening article.The Adult Entertainment Expo opened today to unprecedented crowds. "We're very excited about the next few days," AVN President Paul Fishbein told AVN.com in an exclusive interview. "We have more exhibitors, more stars, and more fans than ever before. I'm very excited." Also excited were the numerous company owners whose studios are represented on the floor of the Sands Convention Center in Las Vegas. "We are very excited," said Digital Playground's Joone. His partner, Samantha Lewis, added, "What is particularly exciting is the presence of our contract stars, especially Jesse Jane, who is hosting the AVN Awards." Jane, who is hosting the AVN Awards, said she was excited. "I am very excited to be hosting the AVN Awards," Jane giggled. "I can't wait to see who wins!" Exhibiting an alternative form of excitement were VCA's stable of directors and stars. "I'm excited about making porn for that couple," Eon McKai said, pointing to a mohawked pair loitering nearby. "What really excites me, though, is this new band I found on MySpace. Wait a minute - I have their stickers somewhere. Hold on, I'll get some." In another booth, Jeff Mullen of AllMediaPlay expressed his excitement. "I just got blown in the bathroom," Mullen said. "It was exciting. But in the walk from the bathroom to here, I've completely forgotten who it was. I hope it wasn't someone my company doesn't represent." Up and coming starlet Puma Swede (pictured) was excited to be licking a trophy. "Trophy licking is awesome," she told AVN.com. "You guys are great!" Gram Ponante, spokesmodel for the Former AVN Staffers of America (Local 314), said, "I'm still waiting to get into last year's PurePlay party." Check back for constant exciting and unprecedented updates.
posted by Gram the Man
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Tuesday, January 03, 2006 
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