At any given place and at any given time in my immediate neighborhood, porn is happening. That is why I was pleased - but not surprised - to happen upon Hustler's Da Vinci Load this afternoon.The setting was a modest fleabag in Woodland Hills where people like James Deen, Charlotte Stokely, and Jasmine Tame shivered in the 70-degree December freeze. (To be fair, Deen was not shivering because he was dressed. Tame and Stokely were in little schoolgirl outfits, as was I.)
Anyone who has read Dan Brown's bestselling and horrible The Da Vinci Code knows that, if anything, a porn movie is a step up. Director Jerome Tanner took a script by Nelson X that involved James Deen fucking someone in an ice cream truck then being killed. Already that is such an improvement over Brown's book that even opponents of pornography might find something worthwhile, such as a love of dairy, in the movie.
Load loosely follows Code's plot, but not so closely that one might want to pull one's brain out of one's head, take it out back, and shoot it. Inside the house, Evan Stone was fucking Hailey Paige in a library filled with books (sometimes doubles) by Ross Macdonald. Stone also appears in Pirates, another large-budget porn "borrowing" of a mainstream project. Stone was bouncing Paige around the room."I try to get them in every position possible at the same time," he said. "Missionary, 69, doggie, scissors. I want them to say, 'Where are you taking me?'"
Stokely used to work as an account receptionist for sites like Utah-based Spacebitches, but not on the content side. "I got to inform guys' wives what the $39.99 recurring monthly charge was," she said.
Concerned about her image, Stokely did not agree to putting on a pouty schoolgirl face for her photo with Jasmine Tame. We settled for giddily supportive instead. Stokely is so pale you could project movies on her, but she'd probably grow bored with it.
In another room I met Bostonian Joey Hart, one of Hustler's three new contract girls. "I flew back for Thanksgiving and I'm flying back for Christmas," she said. "It's cold there." It was explained to me that Hart is going to be the "college girl" of the three, what with Memphis Monroe holding down the Girl Next Door look and Kaden Kross going the fetishy route. As there are only three types of women, I'd say that Hustler's got it covered.Hustler is building an art gallery/museum set on its stage in Chatsworth. More tomorrow.
posted by Gram the Man
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Wednesday, December 07, 2005 
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