I spoke with Justine Joli about our lives together the other day at pirate-themed Metro studios."O Gram," she said, "I don't want a gaudy ring. I want something simple."
"I'll do whatever I can for you, baby," I said, my eyes filled with proprietary love. I told her the story of the claddagh, and how soon I would spring from my bed to see what was the maddagh.
"I want to get married here," she said, pointing to a place southeast of Edinburgh on Metro's wall-sized world map. She spoke the name of the place - there was a "craig" in it - and said there was a faerie ring there, but all I could hear was, "The only sex I'll have is with other hot chicks and my husband."
I don't watch girl/girl scenes, generally, because the ladies know me as goal-oriented and I don't have time for things that have no chance of ending in conception. But I really liked her tryst with Jade Starr in Kill Girl Kill 2.
"Jade was tasty," Joli said.
My world crashed down when it became apparent that Joli is marrying Prisoner director DCypher instead of me. She kept referring to him as "my fiancee."
"I never meant to hurt you," Joli didn't say.
In other Metro news, the company is offering FREE MOUSEPADS to purchasers of 100 or more of their DVDs this holiday season.
“Everybody loves a good mouse pad, and we’re happy to offer our customers this little something extra for the holidays," said Noel Bloom, VP of Metro Interactive.
No-el they don't.
posted by Gram the Man
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Friday, December 16, 2005 
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