It's not just porn talent who are trying to overcome a lack of self-esteem; sometimes the very institutions that claim to "lead" (where?) this industry suffer from a painfully low opinion of themselves and will try to pass on their torment to you.Let's take a look at a Craigslist ad sent to us by a reader.
Industry-leading trade journal covering the adult entertainment industry seeks business and entertainment writers for feature stories.
Two instances of the word "industry" within the first eight words sends up signal flares that the editorial staff might be of the high school yearbook variety. That this is an anonymously-posted ad also casts doubt on the merit of the journal's leadership position.
We prefer writers with experience covering topics of interest to retailers, including inventory, merchandising, sales, contracts, hiring and related issues. Some knowledge of adult film production and distribution also is helpful, but not necessary.
The adult industry, for better or for worse, conducts its affairs differently from any other business on the planet, save for Iranian bazaars, the Mob, and some monkeys. Distribution is especially tricky. Knowledge of, say, the jewelry business does not readily translate.
We offer generous per-word rates with room for increases as you grow with us, as well as steady monthly work -- but we demand nearly flawless copy delivered on deadline.
I can imagine the meeting convened to determine the wording of this ad. "We need to make people believe we're badass; we should demand something." "What should we demand?" "Well, flawless copy because we can't afford/can't keep a copy editor and we should use a newspaper word like 'pi' or 'deadline'." "I don't think the Los Angeles Times mentions deadlines in its ads - if we're a professional publication, isn't that assumed?" "You're not a team player."
Send resume and clips. If you really want to impress us, include 3 story ideas on any topics related to retailing, adult entertainment and/or film production.
If your potential employers really want to impress someone who has any journalism experience, they should spell out numbers under ten. In your froth to impress them, you should also send a contract stipulating that they cannot use your ideas if they don't hire you.
Please note that this is a highly professional organization. A degree in journalism or 5-7 years experience with strong clips and good references are required. Hobbyists, porn enthusiasts and poets will not be considered. Also, we are only interested in feature or news stories, not op-ed pieces or humor. Please do not waste our time or yours.
Boy, the derision flies fast and thick. Remember that the starting rate for a "professional" writer at other "leading" publications is about $55k a year, not including benefits. A professional could also reasonably expect his/her own office or, if he/she telecommmuted, remuneration for Internet and phone bills as well as a "kit rental" for computer equipment used. Also, remember that an organization that needs to call itself highly professional is probably not even somewhat professional, or at least looks askance at the people it has attracted. Remember that your enthusiasm for the subject you will need to write about will not be respected in this job, nor do your potential employers feel comfortable if you are skilled in any other areas. Finally, please remember that your resume recipients are highly professional, and their time is precious to them, when you reply.
I don't know who these people are, but it's fair to say that they hate themselves as much as you.
posted by Gram the Man
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Tuesday, December 06, 2005 
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The Amazing Stephen Ochs said...
- "Please note that this is a highly professional organization" Oh. My. God. High-larious! I
- Saturday, December 10, 2005
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