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Tuesday, December 13, 2005
Adult industry writers wait for check
 America's Porn Journalist and raconteur Gram Ponante announced today that he expects to receive payments via PayPal, money order, and simple snail mail now that the adult industry has estimated its earnings at over $12.6 billion."It will happen any minute now," Ponante said, staring down the long hill that leads to Gram Ponante Towers and Aviary. "Sometimes the mailman gets hung up at the bottom of the road." Professional trade publication AVN polled its network of affiliated sites, video stores, and like six other guys to determine that sales and rental figures for 2005 "eclipsed" $12.6 billion. "AVN hasn't steered me wrong yet," Ponante said, hopping from one foot to the other, "and I read their publication for the news, if not the astronomy." Ponante and other industry writers gathered at Jerry's Deli in Woodland Hills to discuss how they would spend the billions of dollars their trenchant prose generated for the industry. "I am going to move my family to Celebration, USA, so that the spirit of Disney is never more than a step out our front door," Tod-Hunter said. "I am going to buy a solid gold fishing boat and use diamonds as bait," Mike South said. "I am going to flatter, then bate my tain't," opined Mike Ramone. "I am going to buy lap dances from each one of JC's Girls and then not convert or anything," Jimmy D said. "I don't want the money," Lurk Ford said. "Service is my payment." Ponante said that he guessed the money would be satisfactory, "but it's more about the validation I feel that this whole adult industry thing has finally taken off for the right people," he said. ¶ Tuesday, December 13, 2005  
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Im going to pre pay on that anal repair surgery
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 Kami Andrews
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Wednesday, December 14, 2005
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