...and some male porn luminaries need dates.It's hard to imagine the men of the porn world not being able to show up to a red carpet event without some eye candy, but that is the level to which our society has declined.
"I'm calling people up, 'I need a date, I need a date, I need a date - no sex involved," one industry tentpole told me.
"You're only saying 'no sex involved' every third time?" I asked.
"Well, it depends on who you're asking," he replied.
Another called me to ask, "Can you give me the numbers of (some of the girls) you took pictures of? Tell them I'll pick them up in a limo."
"An airport limo?"
I don't think people have paid the right amount of attention to the fact that there will be several hundred well-dressed guests in an elegant theatre watching a XXX porn movie. I'm going to bring a squirtgun filled with warmed Jergens and fire it into the air at inappropriate times, like during the skeleton sequences.
"Hot corpse," I will say.
Or maybe I'll do it during the opening credits.
"Joooooooone," I will say.
posted by Gram the Man
at
Monday, September 12, 2005 
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Ms. Kitka said...
- Oh man... I wish I could have gone. I was just talking about Pirates the other day. I even sent a link about the film to a friend of mine yesterday who is obsessed with the computer game Pirates.
- Wednesday, September 14, 2005
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Kami Andrews said...
- how do you know when its a skeleton and when its a contract girl?
- Friday, September 16, 2005
Post a Comment Links to this post:I'll have to rent it, I guess... or buy it when I go and buy Star Nuts.
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